So do I

photo

To my dearest love,

It's been half a decade since I've last seen you. 

Still, it feels like a lifetime.

These memories of our days together haunt me to this day. 

I despise the fact that you aren't here by my side anymore. I'm empty.

And so is the space you used to occupy. 

I'm a half emptied bottle. 

What's left is the pain and unanswered questions.

It's a constant battle between my heart and my mind. 

A continous clash between either to live in the past or to move ahead. 

It's almost guilt, this thing I feel.

As if I'm being disloyal to your love.

To the things you gave, you gifted, you handed.

From the first confession to the last goodbye, it was always attachment I felt. 

Every time we broke apart, you'd say there's always tomorrow.

Another day we could make it work again.

But tomorrow never came.

You left.

Far too young; still so much to learn.

A wife left widowed, a child left fatherless. 

A son lost and a mother broken.

Longing for the man that held us both.

In hands warmed by affection.

In your son's eyes you saw your reflection. 

The hopes and dreams you left behind for the man you wish him to be.

Thus one day he will become.

For he loves you so.

And so do I. 

xx







(idek man don't ask)