Curly head rage

{ picture from Google because I currently haven't got any of my travel photos on this laptop  }

I NEED TO CALM DOWN 

6.51 PM.

Breath in, breath out, curly head. 

As I've said, I really got to calm down right now. I get burned up and pissed way too easily sometimes. Thankfully not to anyone though, just to this website. 

I COULD NOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME SWITCH ACCOUNTS. Eventhough it said I'd logged out already, it'd still sign in to the same bloody account every. single. time. 

Now, I'm usually quite a patient person and I don't really show much care towards things normally, but ah I don't know, I'm feeling a bit uptight-ish today and it's really pissing me off.

 I tweeted :

"so pissed off I'm going to accidentally injure myself while I flip out"

...and I did. lol. 

I bit my thumb way too hard whilst flipping out just now and it hurts ugh. Also, I went on an angry punching spree on the table. I think haha. I can't even remember already. Not like I purposely did it though. It just followed with the angry feeling I had. 

Speaking of feelings, I really wish that I'm better at showing/ speaking out my feelings. I feel that all I usually do is look as if I don't care or stay shut and bottle it up all day, all night. Unhealthy, it is. I say, if you have feelings you have bottled up, you're better off expressing it. That doesn't mean going to someone and spilling every single bit of emotion you have. 

For me, I go to my blog. 

I'm quite quite bad at expressing myself so I always hesitate telling people how I feel either towards them or other people or of my own situation. I don't really seek for help unless I really need to. 

"Oh, then isn't that you being independent?"

In some ways, yes. In others, no.  You might think "oh, nobody's going to care about what I'm going through or what I think", but really, there's no harm still in expressing yourself to someone whether they do care or not. 

If they do, then that's great. If not, then at least you've got nothing bottled up inside because that's the worst thing to feel. When all you want is someone to lend an ear, to listen to all your feelings that you can't just spew out to anyone, to be told "It's going to be alright." or a simple "Oh, don't worry!". That's all you want but you can't have it because all you are, is afraid. 

Afraid of what people would think of you, afraid that they wouldn't care and you've wasted your breath, afraid of what'd they respond. It might not make much sense to many but it does to me. 

I'm not trying to say that nobody has been there for me. I've always, thankfully, had people around for me, for years. It's all on me. I'm the one who hasn't been sharing, who doesn't go to people for advice, who is afraid to share my stories. 

Anyway, my point is, to whoever reads my blog, always be happy and don't let the little things get you down. Like not being able to log into your blog account hehe.