Here's to:

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I wonder if I'm ever going to someday regret bottling up almost everything that I feel.

Sometimes, I wonder why I even do it or why I continue doing it even though I know how destructive its results can be. Maybe it's the sense of 'no-troubledness' that I get when I keep my mouth shut. Being quiet can and will keep me away from trouble, I thought. Half true, I've found. 

Being quiet can and will also keep me away from enjoying my day. I can't enjoy being around friends because I don't know how to relate. I don't know how to ask them about their lives and how they're feeling. I don't know how I'm supposed to reply when they tell me something they need an opinion on. I don't know how to enjoy the company that I desperately want to have. 

Being quiet can and also will keep me away from being happy. The less you show you cared, the easier your life will be, was a saying I used to follow. It did prove so sometimes, but during others, I felt alone or not counted on. I felt like people would always think that I'm alright even when I'm not because I don't complain or physically look sick. Here's another reminder that mental illnesses exist and that these people need help as much as any other individual do. 

Here's another reminder that just because someone's smile reaches their eyes, it doesn't mean they feel the same inside. 

Here's another reminder that just because someone has a whole group of friends, that it does not mean they do not feel alone sometimes.

Here's another reminder that just because someone's doing well in one part of their life, that they are not struggling in another.

Here's another reminder that just because they don't complain, that doesn't mean they don't have problems they face.

Here's another reminder that people can put on masks and armour to keep their vulnerable self intact.

Heres another reminder that the happiest looking people may not be the happiest inside. 

Here's the most important reminder that a simple hello or 'how are you?' may mean the whole world, that even a 10 minute listening ear would release the heaviness on their chest, that spending just an hour or a half with them would make their day, that your stupid jokes that made them laugh may be the thing that they constantly replay in their minds to keep them upbeat, that you may be the shining light in their clouded mind. 

And here's to the people who are always silently trying their hardest.

xx