Matter

“How would your life be different if…you stopped making negative judgmental assumptions about people you encounter? Let today be the day…you look for the good in everyone you meet and respect their journey.” 

― Steve Maraboli

I've just got done watching a video by a youtuber, Habiba Da Silva (whom I adore btw) titled "#habibatalks: I'M NOT MODEST" and it has really gotten me thinking about the social community in general. 

Admit it, judging others come second nature to most people. I judge, you judge, our parents, teachers, kings and queens all judge. It's completely normal. It's how we differentiate the good from the bad. However, it's also become completely normal to speak your judgemental opinions out loud in a way that isn't the nicest of all ways to do so. I mean, judging in general isn't quite right in the first place isn't it but I think if you take it upon yourself to use your opinions in ways that will benefit the other person, then you're good to go. 

Take advising for example. 

Advising : Offering the best course of action to someone

It's a good thing to do IF you do it correctly. These days, there are more and more people who start thinking that their mean and unkindly words can be accepted as 'advice'. If you find yourself being this way to another person, just stop to think hard about your real intentions. Do you actually want to help this person or are you just enjoying the brutally of your own advice? Similar to when people say that they just are very honest people. ♡ <-- link to a little comic strip about it. 

An advice should be said or written with kindness, with good intentions to help, not to let another person down. Then only will the receiver actually take your said advice into thought. I mean, imagine if you got a nasty comment by a stranger that insulted the way you dressed/looked/spoke by which they label as 'advice'. Obviously, you would feel upset and discouraged. Then, you'd either take their word with a grain of salt, or start a hideous fight with a fool. 

"Arguing with fools make you a fool."

- Lupe Fiasco's tweet lol

So, it's the next day and I watched another video that touched me in the same way. It was an interview with Pierce The Veil's vocalist, Vic Fuentes back in 2012 about their song Bulls in The Bronx ♡. He spoke about how the song was inspired by a girl who took her life, saying she couldn't live with herself and how she was bullied in school. 

The thing with some people is that they don't and sometimes may never realise the harshness of what they say can have the power to make or break another person's life. Bullies, whether in school, work, or online are all fuelled by the same pathetic-ness that drive them to take pleasure in hurting others. Often it's because they think they are a million times better than the victim, or they simply do it for the laugh. It's sick to know that there are people out there, young teens especially with so much more to offer, being mentally and emotionally tormented by their peers, and out of what? What possible reason could be logical enough to explain why they deserved what they got? 

I know that there are opinions that bullies continue to pick on their victims because they never stand up for themselves, never telling the said bully to stop. But, come freaking on. Yes it is definitely one of the best ways to stop being stepped on and taken advantage of but we've got to remember that these people are scared, and that they are scarred. I mean, how could you not be after all these bullies have said and done to you. It is not easy to stand up for yourself sometimes in general, let alone in a situation like this. 

It's so so easy to judge, but it's hard for someone to understand. It's hard to stop yourself and to just ask someone about what they're going through. It's hard to wrap your head around the fact that some people have good hearts but have fallen into the wrong paths and done things they shouldn't have. It's hard to forgive and it's hard to forget. 

Everyone goes through their own struggles and tumbles and that doesn't give us the free card to say whatever we want about them when we are doing well in our own lives. The rich have troubles just as the poor do; the old have troubles just as the young do. We'll never know unless we ask. Age and status do not determine a problem free life, does it? People deal with things differently and we've all got to remember that just because something isn't done in the way you'd do it, doesn't mean it is wrong. Although, that also doesn't mean that you should leave them be when you see them dealing with something in a way that might worsen their situation even more. Talking can make a huge difference because sometimes all that these people lack in their lives are just someone who'd listen.

Things are always going to get better, new opportunities are going to come by, new friends are going to be met, tomorrow's always a new day for a new you. Struggling now doesn't ensure you a whole lifetime of struggles. Yes, you are going to have the occasional troubles but you are also going to have the even better smooth sailing flower garden filled with kittens part of life too. Struggling doesn't make you weak. Everyday that you keep fighting is considered a victory.

Having readers from many different parts of the world made me realize that I'm a part of someone's day somewhere out in Russia or Poland or Italy, and I think that's really really cool. (Shoutout to the random amount of Brazilian readers I've been getting lately! Muito amor! I hope that was right lol)  I don't have thousands and thousands of people reading but for what I am and what I have up on my blog, the amount that I do have is pretty freaking amazing. I started this blog wanting to share my everyday stories, but now I think if I ever get to help anyone in any way possible through what I put out, every single person helped will mean a whole lot to me.

If any one of you out there from any part of the world need someone to talk to whenever you're down or need advice or just want a little chat, I'm always up for it! :)

Hit me up here (hearts are links as usual): 

♡ ----> Tumblr Ask Page

 (which is also linked at my What About Me? page)